You sound very brave to me in those confrontations you were willing to have to stand up for patients’ rights and well-being and you did try to hold accountability as best you could in that system however I do understand your regret about complicity with harm
I don’t know the mindset you were in and I never worked with youth, only adults, but I do recall conversations with parents of young adults whom I had evaluated for referral to medical providers and how I reassured them that regret was very unlikely if transition takes place in early adulthood, something I didn’t know was wrong at the time because the news hadn’t arrived yet about late onset gender dysphoria and detransitioners hadn’t yet emerged to tell their stories
So we thought that what we were dealing with was more fixed than mutable and if a younger person was pursuing this earlier than the older cohort we had seen before that, it seemed like this might help prevent some of those failed marriages and broken families due to later in life transitions
I couldn’t share with my clients or their families what I didn’t yet know or understand about the possibility of future regret so I forgive myself for that but I certainly would never practice again in the same manner
We thought we were helping, we thought we were informed, hindsight is 20/20 but nonetheless this serves as a painful lesson that will soon be essential history to be taught in educational settings for therapists and medical providers alike—we are still far from that but you have played a very important role in setting the stage for that future task and you will continue to be a great role model to speak to the importance of humility in admitting mistakes were made—and all we can do is learn from it and share that lesson with others
Weeping for the atrocities and harms that we have been unable to prevent is important & natural, Jamie.
The alternative is holding all those feelings internally as a burden on oneself; it also means not *fully* holding those responsible to account.
Speaking truth to power, and having it dismissed despite one’s own best efforts is what the Cassandra myth highlights: a curse.
But some of us — you, I hope you truly recognize this — are willing to keep speaking such truths, despite the known costs, in the service of the vulnerable who haven’t such a voice.
So weep, deeply & without shame, so that you can set aside undeserved guilt & shame, and return to battle even more hardened.
Thank you Jamie, for this post, and for all that you do. We feel it here, on the other side of the planet, and are inspired by you, to try to stop further harm to our children, adolescents and young adults. I weep, at times too, for my own child, and for those we've not yet saved, from unutterable harm.
This Doctor in particular was young. The administration did send him to a required 'leadership' training. Instead of simply telling the doctors you can't act like this, they spent the time on personality tests discussing how their staff might be a different 'color' and respond better to their personality type (blues, yellows, etc) leadership.
Thank you for your honesty. Just a thought -- there's no way those clinics could have been countered from the outside (how could we, on the outside, have known the depth of abuse and dysfunction)? You, and the practitioners and patients who were immersed in that hell yet awakened to it, named it, and had the determination to make it public (at great personal risk) -- that's a needed and incredibly difficult role. I hope you remember that, that we could not have done this without you and other brave whistleblowers.
That is heartbreaking. Thank you for being the rare person who can admit that they were complicit in something terrible. Thank you for being open-minded. Thanks for the work you do to fight this. It means everything to us parents that there are others out there who know the truth and are willing to talk about it.
Your willingness to look at the harm you have caused (each and every single one of us has caused harm in some way to someone in our lives), face it with care and honesty, and do the hard work of repairing what you can, is admirable. We can all learn so much from your wisdom and approach to realizing when we have been wrong and doing our best to make amends.
A painful but necessary reckoning, and I hope it gives space to others. It must be deeply painful to realize you would have tried to "social work" this Dad out of his concerns as you did other parents--that was your job, and you worked hard to master it. What is striking to me about your story as you have shared it Jamie is that you yourself haven't really changed at all. You were an ardent and intelligent person deeply committed to the well-being of young people. You worked within a framework that included the principles of gender ideology, believing and trusting that you were working in a sound medical framework. You also were living in a subculture of our time and space, comfortable and maybe even thriving for some time being Queer. All subcultures contain weird nonsense, but some subcultures are more harmful than others. As you know, the problem with Queer is that it took over our institutions to an extent that "punk" or "hippie" has never done. Yes, Christianity has shaped healthcare, especially at Catholic medical institutions, but even that subculture that's been around for thousands of years is not as institutionalized as gender ideology. And you came to see this, you had the courage to question it. But you are still an ardent and intelligent person committed to the well-being of young people--that commitment was more important to you than anything, and it still is. I hope and pray that others who have also contributed to this medical scandal of "pediatric gender medicine" may also be able to face their own tears, forgive themselves, and help to finally stop it.
Powerful, honest and moving. Though it seems your vital work is driven by a desire to make amends, responsibility stops with WPath, the doctors’ and activists who drove the practices you were employed to facilitate. Moments of regret or remorse are painful but cathartic and demonstrate how much truth matters. Thank you for the children you have saved from harm, they will far outnumber those that cause you anguish.
Thank you and great piece. I would love to read one explaining how an adult becomes convinced we discovered a new gender or that its all in your mind, after half a million years on earth. To me it seems like claiming there have always been 8 days in a week, and just nobody noticed until 1978.
It is so bizarre. My sister an NP believes it. My brother, a paramedic believes it. How? I am in Canada, and this is still in full swing. Every media outlet, school, hospital, politician, rehab, social worker, library, everything. The fever is not breaking here.
Here's how. I use this example a lot. In the 90s we believed that little pyramids could sharpen knives, that blood type directs whether you should eat meat or veg, zodiac anyone? That marble rollers will help tighten face skin. Only 5 years ago we believed a bit of cloth on your mouth could stop you getting a virus (unless you're eating or drinking?), that standing a few feet apart also works to stop virus, etc, many believe their sht partner, parent or child is actually the nice version despite years of abuse, also belief ingod or gods or different gods. Honestly, humans believe all sorts of nonsense every day all the time.
So much abuse out there in the medical field. Thank you for standing up and speaking out despite that abuse of power and lack of comprehensive and ethical care you witnessed.
If only we all could recover from our insane grip on failing cognitive dissonance to admit our mistakes, and misjudgements, and wholly embrace our humanity - warts and all. Thank you for sharing this heart wrenching journey to truth, reality, and accountability, while serving the public. If only the Canadian Nurses Association could be so circumspect, instead of institutionalizing DEI beliefs, and promulgating them upon an unsuspecting population seeking wellness, not complicity and collusion.
Unlike many around you, including that ridiculous, abusive, dishonest doctor, you saw the humanity of your patients, and saw the harm you were doing, and stopped. You are working hard to atone for the harm you did. You don't have to atone for what you just might have done.
If you had tried to separate that dad from his son, it's possible you might have manipulated him into taking his kid to the gender center, but it's also possible you might have had another episode of crying at work to tell us about.
You sound very brave to me in those confrontations you were willing to have to stand up for patients’ rights and well-being and you did try to hold accountability as best you could in that system however I do understand your regret about complicity with harm
I don’t know the mindset you were in and I never worked with youth, only adults, but I do recall conversations with parents of young adults whom I had evaluated for referral to medical providers and how I reassured them that regret was very unlikely if transition takes place in early adulthood, something I didn’t know was wrong at the time because the news hadn’t arrived yet about late onset gender dysphoria and detransitioners hadn’t yet emerged to tell their stories
So we thought that what we were dealing with was more fixed than mutable and if a younger person was pursuing this earlier than the older cohort we had seen before that, it seemed like this might help prevent some of those failed marriages and broken families due to later in life transitions
I couldn’t share with my clients or their families what I didn’t yet know or understand about the possibility of future regret so I forgive myself for that but I certainly would never practice again in the same manner
We thought we were helping, we thought we were informed, hindsight is 20/20 but nonetheless this serves as a painful lesson that will soon be essential history to be taught in educational settings for therapists and medical providers alike—we are still far from that but you have played a very important role in setting the stage for that future task and you will continue to be a great role model to speak to the importance of humility in admitting mistakes were made—and all we can do is learn from it and share that lesson with others
I guess listening to activists instead of medical is what caused all the hysteria.
Thank you for writing this.
Weeping for the atrocities and harms that we have been unable to prevent is important & natural, Jamie.
The alternative is holding all those feelings internally as a burden on oneself; it also means not *fully* holding those responsible to account.
Speaking truth to power, and having it dismissed despite one’s own best efforts is what the Cassandra myth highlights: a curse.
But some of us — you, I hope you truly recognize this — are willing to keep speaking such truths, despite the known costs, in the service of the vulnerable who haven’t such a voice.
So weep, deeply & without shame, so that you can set aside undeserved guilt & shame, and return to battle even more hardened.
Be well, Jamie: you’re among our very best 🙏
Thank you Jamie, for this post, and for all that you do. We feel it here, on the other side of the planet, and are inspired by you, to try to stop further harm to our children, adolescents and young adults. I weep, at times too, for my own child, and for those we've not yet saved, from unutterable harm.
Beautifully stated.❤️
I am so sorry. You were the victim of abuse. That doctor should lose his license for his conduct at the personal and professional level.
This Doctor in particular was young. The administration did send him to a required 'leadership' training. Instead of simply telling the doctors you can't act like this, they spent the time on personality tests discussing how their staff might be a different 'color' and respond better to their personality type (blues, yellows, etc) leadership.
Sadly, I’ve lived this. It takes a wide lens (& brave people like Jamie) to fully understand how we got here
Thank you for calling this out.❤️
Thank you for your honesty. Just a thought -- there's no way those clinics could have been countered from the outside (how could we, on the outside, have known the depth of abuse and dysfunction)? You, and the practitioners and patients who were immersed in that hell yet awakened to it, named it, and had the determination to make it public (at great personal risk) -- that's a needed and incredibly difficult role. I hope you remember that, that we could not have done this without you and other brave whistleblowers.
This is a tremendously insightful point. Thank you.
That is heartbreaking. Thank you for being the rare person who can admit that they were complicit in something terrible. Thank you for being open-minded. Thanks for the work you do to fight this. It means everything to us parents that there are others out there who know the truth and are willing to talk about it.
Standing up to the arrogance of those two doctors was a very difficult, courageous thing to do. Thank you for all you do and all you are.🙏🙏🙏
I'm a firm believer in grace and redemption. Yours is a true redemption story, and we are all lucky to have you and your voice. Sending you love.
Your willingness to look at the harm you have caused (each and every single one of us has caused harm in some way to someone in our lives), face it with care and honesty, and do the hard work of repairing what you can, is admirable. We can all learn so much from your wisdom and approach to realizing when we have been wrong and doing our best to make amends.
You have stated this so beautifully. Thank you.
A painful but necessary reckoning, and I hope it gives space to others. It must be deeply painful to realize you would have tried to "social work" this Dad out of his concerns as you did other parents--that was your job, and you worked hard to master it. What is striking to me about your story as you have shared it Jamie is that you yourself haven't really changed at all. You were an ardent and intelligent person deeply committed to the well-being of young people. You worked within a framework that included the principles of gender ideology, believing and trusting that you were working in a sound medical framework. You also were living in a subculture of our time and space, comfortable and maybe even thriving for some time being Queer. All subcultures contain weird nonsense, but some subcultures are more harmful than others. As you know, the problem with Queer is that it took over our institutions to an extent that "punk" or "hippie" has never done. Yes, Christianity has shaped healthcare, especially at Catholic medical institutions, but even that subculture that's been around for thousands of years is not as institutionalized as gender ideology. And you came to see this, you had the courage to question it. But you are still an ardent and intelligent person committed to the well-being of young people--that commitment was more important to you than anything, and it still is. I hope and pray that others who have also contributed to this medical scandal of "pediatric gender medicine" may also be able to face their own tears, forgive themselves, and help to finally stop it.
It MUST stop! It is the worst medical scandal ever!
Powerful, honest and moving. Though it seems your vital work is driven by a desire to make amends, responsibility stops with WPath, the doctors’ and activists who drove the practices you were employed to facilitate. Moments of regret or remorse are painful but cathartic and demonstrate how much truth matters. Thank you for the children you have saved from harm, they will far outnumber those that cause you anguish.
Thank you and great piece. I would love to read one explaining how an adult becomes convinced we discovered a new gender or that its all in your mind, after half a million years on earth. To me it seems like claiming there have always been 8 days in a week, and just nobody noticed until 1978.
It is so bizarre. My sister an NP believes it. My brother, a paramedic believes it. How? I am in Canada, and this is still in full swing. Every media outlet, school, hospital, politician, rehab, social worker, library, everything. The fever is not breaking here.
That’s very sad to know! How can anyone with any thinking skills believe this anti- science , anti- human belief?
.
Here's how. I use this example a lot. In the 90s we believed that little pyramids could sharpen knives, that blood type directs whether you should eat meat or veg, zodiac anyone? That marble rollers will help tighten face skin. Only 5 years ago we believed a bit of cloth on your mouth could stop you getting a virus (unless you're eating or drinking?), that standing a few feet apart also works to stop virus, etc, many believe their sht partner, parent or child is actually the nice version despite years of abuse, also belief ingod or gods or different gods. Honestly, humans believe all sorts of nonsense every day all the time.
So much abuse out there in the medical field. Thank you for standing up and speaking out despite that abuse of power and lack of comprehensive and ethical care you witnessed.
Brave in the doing and brave in the retelling.
If only we all could recover from our insane grip on failing cognitive dissonance to admit our mistakes, and misjudgements, and wholly embrace our humanity - warts and all. Thank you for sharing this heart wrenching journey to truth, reality, and accountability, while serving the public. If only the Canadian Nurses Association could be so circumspect, instead of institutionalizing DEI beliefs, and promulgating them upon an unsuspecting population seeking wellness, not complicity and collusion.
Unlike many around you, including that ridiculous, abusive, dishonest doctor, you saw the humanity of your patients, and saw the harm you were doing, and stopped. You are working hard to atone for the harm you did. You don't have to atone for what you just might have done.
If you had tried to separate that dad from his son, it's possible you might have manipulated him into taking his kid to the gender center, but it's also possible you might have had another episode of crying at work to tell us about.